E&C's Night Out
by Fallan Jupiter
Summary: Edge and Christian just became 7 time tag team champions and now they are going out to celebrate! But why is everything so weird?
1. Chapter 1

****

This story is about Edge and Christian.. not Jay and Adam. They are   
in character the whole time and it takes place when they became the 7   
time WWF Tag Team Champions! Enjoy! 

Disclaimer: I own NO ONE in the WWE, but if Christian is available , I am willing to take him! ;)

Distribution: ask first please!  
  


"Dude, we so rule!" the tall blonde commented to his younger   
brother who sat beside him. He smiled to himself, displaying perfect   
white teeth.  
"Yeah we do." the younger man replied as he pulled his dark   
blonde hair back into a ponytail. "So Edge, what are we doing to   
celebrate our total victorification? He asked, patting the gold belt   
that hung over his shoulder. His sparkling aqua eyes drifted to look   
at his brother.  
"Um...well Christian, we can find a club or something. But,   
this town is a bit on the heinous side..." he trailed off, "So,   
uh...I don't know."  
"we can pick up some chicks!" Christian suggested. Edge   
turned to face him in disbelief.  
"Christian! You really want to pick up chicks here?" He   
stared as the car paused at a red light. His long, thin face looked   
disgusted, as did his deep brown eyes offset by his long blonde hair.   
Christian, on the other hand, had a rounder face with a goatee; he   
looked innocently confused. But, like always, his eyes and smile   
shone through his confusion.   
"Okay, good point. We can go throw firecrackers at the   
homeless!" He exclaimed excitedly. Edge pondered the thought for a   
moment.  
"But we always do that!" he protested from the drivers   
seat. "You know, most people celebrate with alcohol." He pointed out,   
glancing at Christian to see his reaction.  
"But we don't drink." He reached his arm into the backseat   
and pulled a large trophy into the front with him. "I missed you   
Senorita Trophy." He whispered as he gently kissed it. Edge rolled   
his eyes at the scene.  
"We're going to start tonight. Farooq told me it helps in   
towns like this where they're all heinous and ugly." He turned left   
onto a brightly lit street with several neon signs. Clubs lined both   
sides. "Okay pick one." Christian poked his head out the window to   
get a better view.  
"Um....that one!" He pointed. Edge slowed down to check it   
out. He noticed the all male line.  
"Um, dude, I think that's a bar for people who lead, um..."   
He tried to find the words to explain it. "Christian, that's a bar   
for boys that like other boys."   
"I like boys. I like you, you're a boy." He said hopefully,   
smiling his innocent smile.  
"No Christian, you don't. Trust me. That bar is not for us."   
Christian looked disappointed, but perked up when he saw a new sign.  
"Dude, check it out!" He gestured frantically, " They sell   
Edge soda there!" He pointed again, "LOOK!"  
"Woah, that rules! Edge soda here we come!"" The high-fived.  
"Sodas totally rule all!" They cried in unison. Edge pulled   
the car into the parking lot. They both exited into the cool night   
air. Christian stretched and adjusted his shirt.  
"Damn I'm pretty." he remarked to himself in the mirror.  
"Dude, this is so going to rule!" Edge said as they walked   
towards the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"Woah! Check it out, we must have found the hot chicks club!"   
Edge stared as they saw several women walk by.  
"Yeah, it's like, they're not ugly..." Christian commented.   
They made their way to the bar. Edge, attempting to look suave,   
leaned on the bar, lost his balance and fell over. "It's ok dude, no   
one saw!" Everyone in a forty foot radius has seen and were staring   
at the blonds. Edge clumsily got to his feet.  
"I'm ok!" he announced. Christian smiled at the female   
bartender.  
"Hey baby, can we get two...uh...Edge and rums?" She looked   
at him in disbelief.  
"Sir, that would probably kill you. Do you know how much   
caffeine is in that?" she kept staring at him.  
"Yes I do." He winked. She nodded at his stupidity.  
"ok, if that's what you want!" She smiled as she poured the   
drinks. He took the glasses and gave one to Edge. As the glasses   
clinked against one another, they said together: "Here's to our first   
drinks!"  
  
  


"This kinda tastes bad." Christian wrinkled his nose. "I   
don't really like it!" he trailed off when he noticed Edge glaring at   
him.  
"Just drink it! You're always whining!" He said sternly. His   
little brother blinked back tears.  
"Yes sir." he softly replied as he gulped down his drink. "It   
burns!" Edge's brown eyes watched carefully. He looked back at his   
glass, which was still full.  
*Here goes nothing* He thought as he took a small sip. The   
liquid stung his tongue.  
"It's not that bad!" he announced as he struggled to control   
the tears in his eyes. He quickly flinched and finished off the   
rest. "Bartender! Two more sodas with rum please!" He called   
out, "Sodas and rum rule!" Christian smiled as a pretty girl walked   
by. She laughed at his ridiculous eyebrow movements.  
"Dude, I need more!" he said, taking his new glass and   
downing it. Edge did the same.


	3. Chapter 3

An hour later, they sat at the bar surrounded by empty glasses. Christian held his head in his hands. A smack to the back of Edge's head sent his face careening into the bar. "Hey Edgester, Christian! What's up?" Kurt Angle stood behind them, oblivious to their suffering, and smiling. "Kurt, we decided to drink Edge soda and rum. Christian's blue eyes looked dead as he looked at his friend. Edge lifted his head up from the bar and turned to see Kurt. "Owww...." he rubbed his head and ran his fingers through his long hair. "Alcohol?" Kurt asked, ignoring Edge's pain, "I've never had that." He took a seat beside Christian at the bar. "Bartender, can I get what they're having?" He called out. The woman rolled her eyes and nodded. "She wants me." He whispered to Christian, who nodded drunkenly. "I feel weird." Christian announced. "We should go back to the hotel." Edge nodded in drunken agreement. He stood up to his full height of 6 feet,4 inches and walked around to Kurt's seat. He put hs head down on his shoulder and closed his eyes. "Kurt, I need a nap. Drive us home!" Kurt shook his head, causing Edge to stumble. "I just drank. I'm not driving. Go lay down in the car. You'll feel better." He told the tall blonde. He pointed to Christian, "Look, he's ok." Christian was passed out at the bar with drool coming out of the side of his mouth. "Ok, but carry me." he demanded sleepily. Christian began to snore. Kurt laughed in disbelief. "Carry you? But I can't.." He saw Edge's pout. "Oh jeez...ok fine, I'll carry you out to the car." He groaned and lifted the tall man into his arms. He stumbled out the door under the weight of his friend. When they reached the car, Kurt fished in the pocket of Edge's leather pants to find the key. "Kurt, I never knew you felt this way.." Edge started. "Quiet! I'm only doing it because I felt bad. I am not gay." He placed the almost unconscious man in the front seat and pushed it back all the way. "Can I have a story?" he asked as he closed his eyes. "No." Kurt slammed the door of the SUV. When he went back into the club for Christian, his jaw dropped. 


	4. Chapter 4

When he went back into the club for Christian, his jaw dropped.

The blonde man sat exactly where Kurt had left him, but was now surrounded by a crowd of women! Kurt stood staring and he listened to what was going on in disbelief.

"Oh Christian, you are sooooo smart!" one woman cooed, twirling a piece of his hair around her finger. He smiled and nodded his head.

"Of course I am! I graduated from Humber College!" he replied....with a British accent! Kurt's eyes widened.

"Christian, you are so strong! Do you work out?" another redhead asked as she felt his arm.

"Work out? Ha! I don't have time for such petty things! I spend my time writing lectures for the History Channel and delivering speeches at museum benefit banquets." He smiled at the woman, "But if you think my biceps are big, you should feel my....." Kurt smacked him before he could finish his sentence. Christian turned around to see the man who had hit him. "And who, might I ask, are you?" Kurt glared at him and his accent. 

"Christian! You know darn well who I am!" he put his hands on his hips and stared at his blonde friend, he continued when Christian didn't answer. "_Kurt_...Kurt _Angle_!?" Christian just kept looking at the man. " _Gold medal olympian_...Kurt Angle!"

"Well, whoever you are, sir, you need to leave me alone!" Christian crossed his arms, crushing the hand of the redhead and turned around to face the women. Kurt stood in disbelief. Christian had not only turned intelligent, but had picked up several women _and _didn't seem to know who Kurt was! 

"Christian! I don't know what's going on here, but you need to snap out of it." he poked his friend in the back, causing him to spin around suddenly and jump to his feet.

"Alright then, Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle, I am going to have to resort to using force!" He lifted Kurt and proceeded to walk to the door, where he threw the man out into the parking lot.

  



	5. Chapter 5

Kurt hit the ground outside with a huge THUD! Sitting up, he groaned and rubbed his head. * That British-wanna-be bastard!* he thought to himself. Looking around him, he remembered that Edge was in the car. He picked himself up off the sidewalk and headed for the red SUV in the parking lot.

Edge was sleeping, curled up in the backseat, very peacefully. Just as Kurt was about to knock on the window, the blonde man bolted upright. Kurt flew backwards in shock and watched as Edge opened the door and stepped out.

"Hey, Edge....how are you feeling?" he asked, almost speechless at the abruptness that his friend had woken up. Edge looked at him, confused.

"Do I know you? And my name is _Edgeward _not Edge." he nodded his head at Angle and proceeded to walk towards the entrance to the club.

"WHAT???" Kurt stood in disbelief for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING WITH AN ACCENT?" he yelled as Edge walked away. The tall blonde turned around to give Kurt a strange look and entered the club, leaving Kurt all alone and confused.

"Why Christian, you should know that Kafka meant it as a humorous interpretation!" Edge was saying as Kurt re-entered the club and made his way to the bar. Christian scratched his chin. 

"But Edgeward, the existentialists were _so _unconventional_!"_ he replied, shaking his head. Edge sighed in disagreement.

"No Christian, my poor mislead younger sibling." The women surrounding them seemed confused. The men had lost them at the mention of Franz Kafka and his novels. Kurt looked stunned again and banged his head into the wall.

"NO!!!!!!" he yelled, moving to where the two blonds sat. "YOU TWO ARE NOT SMART!!!!!!!!!!" Christian's blue eyes were filled with confusion. Edge's brown ones narrowed at the shorter Olympic hero.

"Who the bloody hell are you to accuse us of being of lesser intelligence?" he rose to his full height and towered over the other man. Kurt looked saddened by Edge's reaction.

"You two are my best friends. I know you two and something horrible has happened." he looked like he was going to cry. "I just want my two retarded buddies back." The blonde men felt bad that they had made him cry. Christian put an arm around his shoulders and smiled. Edge struggled to smile too. "HAHAHAHAHA!!! Now I've got you!" Kurt had grabbed a chunk of each's hair and pulled them towards the exit. "You're going to get over this if I have to beat the intelligence out of you." He dragged them out the door and to his car. "AND STAY IN THERE!!!!! WE'RE GOING FOR A RIDE!!!" He threw them into the backseat and slammed the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Christian and Edge sat in the back seat, arms folded and eyes glaring at the back of Kurt's head. He looked back in the rearview mirror to check on them.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys!?" he exclaimed, noting their scowls.

"Well, you know I can't think of anything wrong except the fact that I was having a pleasant evening and then someone RUINED IT!" Christian almost yelled from his spot, next to Edge.

"Christian and I are a BIT perturbed that you would do this, Mr. Olympian, _if _that is your true name, which I am assuming it is not." Edge retorted, haughtily, sticking his nose in the air.

"Yeah, Edgeward and I are a little angry. So, if you would, please turn the car around and let us go back to the bar, where we can continue to woo women with our superior intellect!" Christian was turning pink with anger. Kurt stopped the car suddenly, causing the two blondes to fly forward and bash their heads into the seats in front of them. He grimaced.

"Uh....oops. Sorry guys." Kurt's blue eyes looked at the motionless blondes with fear. "Oh god, I killed them! Even if they were smarter than me, I didn't want them to die!" Tears began to stream down his face. He pulled over on the side of the small road and opened the back doors to look at his friends. Grabbing Edge by the hair, he unbuckled the seatbelt and pulled him onto the sidewalk. He repeated it with Christian and sat, cradling the younger brother's motionless body. "Oh Christian...you were so young." he wailed. "Life held so much for you." He turned to Edge, dropping Christian back onto the sidewalk, where his head smacked against the concrete. "Oh Edge...you were so...tall and pretty. Girls loved you until you opened your mouth!" His sobs made passersby stare and raise eyebrows. 

"Kurtski...what the hell are you doing?" Christian popped up from the ground, rubbing the back of his head. "Where are we? I thought we were gonna pick up some chicks?" Kurt stared at him in disbelief. 

"You're alive?" He stammered, "And...what did you call me?" he cried excitedly. Christian's blue eyes looked glazed over once again. Edge groaned and sat up, as people stopped to stare at the three men on the sidewalk.

"Dude, this headache is killer!" He exclaimed. "Where are all the pretty ladies?" His confused brown eyes scanned the narrow street. "Where _are _we?" He turned to Kurt, who was incredulous. "Uh.. dude, can you take us back to the club? We're missing the par-_tay_!" Kurt smiled and nodded, glad to have his old, dumb friends back.

"Sure Edgeward, I'll take you back right away." Edge scrunched his face.

"What did he call me?" he asked his younger sibling as they crawled back into the car.

"Dude, I think Kurt went a little _loco_." Christian said, shrugging. "I speak Spainese." he smiled to himself, proud that he had managed to learn something. They pulled back into the parking lot of the club and girls lined both sides of the car, cheering for the safe return of the blonde brothers. Edge got out of the car and smoother back his hair.

"Oh Edgeward, I was sooooo worried about you I thought that Olympian or whatever hurt you!" A woman cooed as he passed her. He turned to look at Christian, curiously.

"Dude, these chicks totally want us!" he whispered. "How you doin'?" he asked a redhead nearby. She raised an eyebrow. 

"Hey scorchcake!" Christian said, in what he thought was a sexy voice, but the girl just laughed at him. The crowd of women slowly dwindled and soon, the three were left standing alone in a parking lot. Edge and Kurt continued on, but Christian pouted and sat down on the steps. He ran a hand through his long hair and sighed. "Girls will just never get it, will they. Why do they all have to be so totally heinous?" 

"Boys are all such total reekizoids!" he heard a voice behind him. A girl stomped out of the club and almost ran over Christian as he sat, moping. "Oh ,sorry." She apologized when she saw him.

"Uh... hey. Are you ok, dude...ette?" She smiled warmly and sat down next to him.

"Yeah, just boys are dumb. There's this guy in there that made fun of my sunglasses and told me I looked like his little brother in them! Can you believe that!?" She pulled the large frames out of her bag. "I think I look totally rad in them!" Christian's eyes widened.

"I think you look h-o-t- uh...e? in them. Big crazy-ass sunglasses rule all." he exclaimed, pulling his own pair out of his pocket. The girl smiled and ran a hand through her curly brown hair.

"Can I buy you a drink?" She asked, smiling. He nodded, then rubbed the back of his head, which was still sore.

"As long as it's rum and Edge."


End file.
